Mike Neighbors University of Arkansas Women’s Head Coach. These are just some random notes that I have taken at various clinics, coaching conversations, and other random talks with colleagues.
Short poem on the way today’s athletes view the world. That is not to say that we give in, but that it is important to understand who we are coaching.
MY COACH IN MY WORLD
Pamper me, and I will not respect YOU.
Manipulate me, and I will resist YOU.
Intimidate me, and I will reject YOU.
Humiliate me, and I will despise YOU.
Prepare me, and I will trust YOU.
Care for me, and I will love YOU.
Guide me, and I will follow YOU.
Be an example for me, and I will be like YOU.
from Robert L. Kehoe, JR
These are from Bob Wilson at the Vanguard University Coaches Summit:
Intentional teaching: everything you do should be intentional. Not reactionary. Teaching should have a purpose and a plan.
When you go to clinics:
1) Adopt it– hear something you like
2) Adapt it- make it your own and fit your program
3) Adept at it- get good at it
Sidewalks to Sideline to Significance: Teaching goes from their playing days, to their careers, to passing it on to others
Does your program reflect character? Does it perpetuate character?
“locked in” is the highest form of “buy-in” “credibility” is usually the missing ingredient when teams don’t have buy-in or locked-in with their coaches… What are you doing to insure credibility? If you don’t have it, why? If you can’t figure it out, just ask team, they won’t hold back!!!!
Recommended reading “Fall to Grace” … Dave Bliss story
4 Good Questions Every Coach Must have an answer for;
1) Why do I coach?
2) Why do I coach the way I do?
3) What does it feel like to be coached by me?
4) How do we define success?
“It’s only important when it’s important” best teams don’t focus on things ONLY when they are important (urgent) The important things are ALWAYS important.
“If a player shows up with a flaw that’s on them, if they leave with one, that’s on you!!”
Russ Davis-Vanguard University Head Coach
“I can teach you or train you… The methods are very different depending on your ability to motivate yourself.” Cori Close– UCLA Head Coach
Book recommendation… How Winning Works by Robyn Benincasa
Debbie Ryan- NCAA Hall of Famer
Now works in medical philanthropy. Says unequivocally that most of men’s health issues, especially coaches, can be prevented with routine check ups and early detections. Men only go to see a doctor when a woman they love makes them or when it hurts so bad they can’t function.
The following is from a book recommended by Coach Neigbors Generation iY: Secrets to Connecting With Today’s Teens & Young Adults in the Digital Age by Tim Elmore
You can read a little inside the book by clicking the image of the book cover at the left.
Dr. Tim Elmore is Founder and President of Growing Leaders, an Atlanta-based non-profit organization created to develop emerging leaders. Generation iY is the younger Millennials, born after 1990. They have grown up with ipods, iphones, and the internet, in a world that allows for high speed, constant connection, sedentary lifestyles, pitiful relational skills, and a large dose of narcissism. (15) Elmore gives suggestions for guidance within each chapter.
A college survey reveals that many are overwhelmed with stress, some from pressures their parents put on them to succeed and others who had undue comfort and a lack of healthy pressure prior to college. They are over connected with much noise, busyness, connection, talk, volume, and speed, but many are miserable in relationship skills, emotional intelligence, patience, listening, and conflict resolution. Many have been sheltered and overprotected and are unready for life in the real world. Some overestimate their own importance and feel entitled to special treatment. They can be narcissistic, me-centered, impatient, demanding, and short-tempered, having a poor work ethic and minimal long-term commitment. They are activists and also slackers, wanting to change the world — if it can be done quickly. Waiting is very hard.
Some were raised in families where no one told them ‘no’ about anything and they feel entitled. Everybody got a
ribbon and they never had a chance to lose. They are connected mostly with each other, get most of their guidance from their peers, and model themselves after others from their own generation. But they don’t know how to relate to other generations.
How to get through to this group:\
1. They want to belong before they believe.
2. They want an experience before an explanation.
3. They want a cause before they want a course.
4. They want a guide on the side before they want a sage on the stage.
5. They want to play before they pay.
6. They want to use but not be used by others.
7. The want a transformation, not merely a touch.
In the real world success is about 25% IQ and 75% EQ (emotional intelligence).
“What an adolescent needs is an adult (parent, teacher, coach, employer, pastor, or leader) who makes appropriate demands and sets appropriate standards for them in a responsive environment of belief and concern. In short, they need adults to display a balance of two elements–they need them to be both responsive and demanding.” (66) They need a balance of autonomy — to act independently– and responsibility — to be accountable.
• Intentionally mix the generations.
• Teach practical life skills
• Provide opportunities for service.
• Give opportunity to practice maturity.
• Engage kids in actively helping others (not just voting on a web site).
• Reward the development of real skills and actual accomplishments (not just showing up).
• Set boundaries.
• Develop rituals to mark rites of passage.