Coaches Toolbox

Managing Criticism

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This article provided by Coaches Network

Whether you like it or not, as a coach, you are on a pedestal for everyone to see. Anyone watching sees your stumbles and mistakes. And increasingly, stakeholders will call you out for any miscues.

In the middle of a busy season with practices and games consuming all your time, it can be tempting to ignore criticism that comes your way and hope that it will eventually disappear. But that tactic can easily backfire. Coaches suggest that it’s best to face feedback head-on, with a strategy for responding.

Chuck Wilcoxen, Head Men’s and Women’s Cross Country and Track and Field Coach at Principia College, says it’s important to engage with anyone who is delivering criticism or negative feedback. “If someone is upset about something, sooner or later they have to get it out,” he says. “If they sit on it, it’s going to simmer longer, and that just makes them more upset, which isn’t good for you, and isn’t good for the program. Even if it’s the same parent again and again with things you don’t think are justified, you have to let the person be heard.”

And the number-one item of a good strategy is to always stay calm, even if the other person is not. “Getting mad is not productive whatsoever,” says Jim Long, Head Baseball Coach at Brenham (Texas) High School. “That can make you look worse than the person complaining, which you never want. You need to remember you’re dealing with people who, because of their emotions, are making ignorant decisions. When I think of it that way, these situations are a lot easier to deal with.”

For Karen Kunka, Head Volleyball Coach at North Central College, staying calm requires taking a step back. Rather than responding immediately, she sets up a meeting to discuss the complaint. “If you let a discussion go on in the heat of the moment, you can get backed into a corner with someone screaming at you,” she says.

Instead, Kunka likes to gain perspective on the situation and think through her solution, rather than being forced into a snap decision or appearing defensive. “You have to allow yourself to pull back from a situation a little bit,” she says. “I also like to have someone I can run things past, like an assistant coach, before I react.”

Wilcoxen takes a similar approach. “Don’t react when you’re having the initial discussion,” he says. “Hash things out by yourself when you’re not dealing with any feelings of defensiveness or anger. With a little perspective, you may even find that the person has an excellent point that will make you a better coach.”

In fact, Wilcoxen tries to learn from all feedback. “What may at first seem to be a petty complaint can actually be very valuable information,” he says. “For example, parents know things about their kids that coaches don’t. The first couple years I coached I was probably a little defensive, but the more open I was to others’ opinions, the more I learned. If a kid tells me they’re feeling great, and I find out from the parents that they’re not, that’s good information.”


Ideas for Parent Meeting

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The purpose of this post is not to say that you should run your Parent’s Meeting like this, but just to stimulate your thinking on how you can make your Parent’s Meeting as productive as possible.  It is more than a task to complete on the season checklist, it is an important opportunity to build positive rapport with your athlete’s parents!

The coach/parent relationship is extremely important, and as we all know, is one of the most difficult parts of coaching. I believe that holding a pre-season parent meeting will help to communicate with the parents in mass in a non-confrontational way. After our meeting, we open the practice to parents to watch.

The agenda that I have used for our parent meetings is outlined below

We start off with this quote from Lou Holtz:

I don’t think coaching is about making a million dollars a year. I don’t think coaching is about winning championships. I don’t think coaching is about going to a great school. I think coaching is about helping young people have a chance to succeed. There is no more awesome responsibility than that. I think one of the greatest honors a person can have is to be called ‘Coach.’ ”
—Lou Holtz

WE ALREADY ARE AT A GREAT SCHOOL!

1. Thank you for your attendance and for dealing with our practice times throughout the year—there are seven different practice times and game schedules being played right now.
2. Coaching Staff and attendance for information purpose.
3. Goal #1 for coaches: Establish a life—long relationship with each participant that cannot be broken.
Goal #2 for coaches: Assist in the development of all aspects of the life of the participants. Goal #1 for participants: Have the most rewarding season of his/her career to this point in our sport.
4. Cost to parents

5. Relationship of coach and parents
A. I look forward to a friendly, professional, and productive relationship with every parent.
B. Roles—Play, coach, officiate, support (Each of us should stick to one of those roles ONLY)
C. Please be supportive—“Listen to your coaches about (volleyball, soccer, football, baseball, whatever the sport is)” is the best advice to give. I have an entire program to consider. Over 100 students in grades 5-12.
D. Notebook—please look at your son/daughter’s team notebook that we provide him/her.  It will helps you understand our philosophy
E. Playing time—Coach’s decision and is not negotiable
F. Role in program or program level (varsity, JV, Freshman)—Coach’s decision and not negotiable
G. Strategy—Coach’s decision and not negotiable
H. I will not discuss other players with parents
I. I will talk to you about any other area that can help your son
J. Please support our priorities—again, please see your player’s notebooks.  We put their personal spirituality, family, health, citizenship, and academics as higher priorities than basketball.  I would rather have him miss practice for a Dr. appointment than to miss a class.  Of course, I would prefer he not miss class or practice, but if a choice has to be made, he would be excused from practice as long as I know ahead of time so that I am not surprised.  I hope it doesn’t happen, but I realize there are emergencies where communication with a coach is not a priority.
K. We ask that you follow the chain of command on all concerns. If your son has a concern that he shares with you, please ask him if he has spoken to the coach about it. We would appreciate your son extending us the courtesy of seeing the coach he has a concern with first. I am not perfect, but I am the coach and it is my job to deal with any problem that affects the program. I would appreciate hearing concerns directly from your son.  I do my best to be someone who is worthy of their trust and respect to be able to approach when there is an issue.
L. Parents may attend practice. However, it is the opinion of our coaching staff that it is not in the best interest of your son to do so.  We feel it puts undo pressure on him, but each child is different in that regard.

6. Administrative Items Web Site Waiver, Prospect Sheet, Code of Conduct
7. Web Site, E-mails
8. Question and answer
9. Food for away games
Varsity and Junior Varsity (Need volunteers)
Freshman Games (Need volunteers)
Other ideas–signs, buttons, pictures, having the team over to your home Please follow our priorities if the players are at your home
10. Locker room tour for parents and watch practice if you are able.


Positioned for Parents

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This article provided by Coaches Network

For high school coaches today, one key to success is learning to work well with athletes’ parents. A recent survey found that nearly two-thirds of coaches polled said they had either quit or considered quitting because of parents. How do veteran coaches tackle the challenge? Here are some suggestions:

Keep calm in the storm
It’s easy for parents to become emotional about their children, so it’s critical that the coach does the opposite and remains calm. Even if a parent is totally out of line, the coach must take the high road. One coach surveyed wrote that he regretted raising his voice with a parent.

“I should have swallowed my tongue and turned the other cheek,” he wrote. “I raised my voice in the exchange and only allowed a greater divide to exist. It hindered my relationship with that player for the rest of his career, which I regret.”

Another coach relayed how he was able to maintain composure during a baseball game. “A parent came to me in the dugout … and began yelling loud enough for everyone on and off the field to hear. I told her that was not the appropriate time to discuss an issue and if she wanted to talk we could do so after the game.”

Help your athletes navigate
Nearly two-thirds of coaches said players had complained about their own parents’ conduct. So there may come a time when you need to take action on behalf of your player. And sometimes other parents can be your ally.

“I had a player who wanted my help with her father’s behavior,” wrote one coach. “I was able to recruit some help from other parents and to get the problem under control.”

In other cases, empowering your player to talk to their parent themselves can have a positive outcome. When doing that, it’s still important to be a support system for the athlete:

“[I] allowed the player to speak with their parent at halftime per their request; I assured the player it was OK and not to worry about their parents’ action. I tried to take all the pressure off the kid … and I explained that my relationship with [them] had nothing to do with their parents,” wrote one coach.

Be open to change
While nearly 80 percent of coaches said that they had not changed their coaching style in response to parental complaints, some admitted that they had made some minor adjustments:

“It was not so much a change in coaching style as it was point of view,” one coach wrote. “Discussions with parents are part of growing as a coach. You must always apply lessons learned if you intend to progress.”

Sometimes, a parent will go to extreme measures, such as threatening to transfer their child to another school. One coach who faced such a situation realized that they needed to redirect the conversation.

“After a parent conference, I suggested we put our differences aside and focus on the student-athlete,” he wrote.


Finding and Building Coachable Athletes

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The article provided by Coaches Network

By Dr. Wade Gilbert

Much was written last April about Jordan Spieth’s record-setting performance at the Master’s golf tournament. At only 21 years old, Spieth broke multiple scoring records and became the first golfer in 30 years to lead the tournament from wire to wire (first day to final day).

However, it was what he did in between shots that impressed the world more so than his athletic prowess. He is being lauded as the future of American golf not just because of his golf ability, but equally as much for the type of athlete he represents. Spieth has won over sponsors, fans, and competitors alike because of his humble and respectful attitude, competitive drive, and willingness to learn.

According to his coach, Cameron McCormick, Jordan has always embodied these characteristics. McCormick reports many examples of how Jordan was willing to adapt and follow coaching suggestions all along the journey from 12-year old sensation to the reigning Master’s champion.

Jordan Spieth is a prime example of that most highly sought athlete by every coach—the coachable athlete.

Coaches spend considerable time and energy trying to find, and build, coachable athletes because they are eager to learn, fun to work with, and in the case of team sports they make their teammates better.

In my classes we often do an activity where I ask coaches to identify and rank characteristics of the coachable athlete. After preparing their list I then have them compare their list with a list generated in a national survey of over 100 college basketball coaches. The list includes the following nine characteristics, ranked in order from most important to least important:

• Willingness to be coached
• Willingness to sacrifice for the team
• Acceptance of criticism
• Acceptance of individual role
• Positive response to discipline
• Attentiveness
• Respect for authority
• Selflessness
• Agreeableness with coach

Notice that ‘willingness’ and ‘acceptance’ rank at the top of the list. Coachable athletes approach their sport with a willingness to do whatever it takes to improve performance. They also are eager to receive feedback and open to making adjustments. For athletes who play on teams, this is most evident when athletes eagerly accept new roles or new positions on the team, instead of complaining or challenging the coach.

Although I have found that most coaches agree with the list, there seldom is consensus on the order of the list. For example, two of my students asked their former coaches to comment on the list. The coaches included Margie Wright, college’s all-time winningest softball coach, and Brian Reynolds, who has coached his swim teams to 33-time national collegiate championships.

Interestingly, both of these legendary championship coaches rated ‘selflessness’ as the number one characteristic of a coachable athlete.

What these exercises illustrate is that taking time as a coach to reflect on how you define a coachable athlete is more valuable than the list itself. As you evolve and grow as a coach your list will also surely become more fine-tuned. The most coachable athletes for each coach will likely be the ones who model the coach’s core values and program philosophy.

Take a moment and think about the athlete characteristics you would put on your list. Then ask yourself how you model and teach these qualities to your athletes. Wouldn’t we all benefit from passing along a more coachable athlete to the next coach in the athlete’s journey?

This article is adapted from an article on the Human Kinetics “Coach Education Center” website.


Ten Traits of Successful Programs

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By Bruce Brown, Proactive Coaching

Successful coaches weave these 10 principles into all aspects of their team’s activities—whether it be during the off-season or pre-season, or in practice and in games.

Consistent and clear standards and values. Pre-set team values are the foundation for every successful team. What is your team’s identity? Great teams establish their own culture.

The team members feel a collective responsibility to learn and follow the team values. People commit to the team values and live it in their actions. “This is the way we do things around here” is something the team members are proud to express. The feeling is that “we don’t want to do anything that would let down the coaches, the team and each other”. Everyone is accountable.

Master Teachers, Master Motivators. This first way for a coach gain credibility is to respect and trust is how much they know and how well they can teach it. Successful coaches understand the game and their players and how to teach both.

Positive role models. Coaches must consistently diplay the team values in their actions, and it carries down to the seniors so that they serve as role models for the team values. In a successful program, the freshmen or sophomores can be told, “If you are not sure how hard to work or how to act in any situation, just watch our seniors and follow their lead.” Your older players and most talented players must be your best workers.

All roles are valued. When there is relationship-based leadership, everyone who contributes to the team’s overall value. Credit is shared. When all roles are valued, players are more willing to accept roles and the team is more successful.

Positive rites of passage. Intentionally created positive traditions provide a path for athletes to feel welcomed, and to grow into leadership roles. Nothing that could be considered hazing is ever present.

Consistent performance feedback. Coaches know how to balance praise and correction. Athletes take correction as a compliment—they are coachable.

Trust. With a successful team, players trust each other and their coaches. They trust their training. Mutual trust among players and coaches allows direct, open, honest communication and fearless play.

Sense of Urgency. There is a high-energy level during both practice and games. Individual and team discipline is visible in the focused attention and focused effort of everyone. Details are important. Only disciplined teams have a chance to win championships.

Impact the player’s lives. Players in these programs treasure the experience so much that they carry the lessons and values over beyond the season and into their lives overall. They build successful “teams” of their own—whether it be in sports or other endeavors.

Proactive Coaching published materials designed to help define, build and empower leadership. Their resources include:

• Proactive Leadership, Empowering Team Leaders (book)

• Captains, Seven Ways to Lead Your Team (booklet)

• Captains and Coaches Workshop (DVD)

• The Impact of Trust (DVD)

For more information, visit www.proactivecoaching.info