This article and other helpful coaching tools can be found at Coach Dawn Writes

By Dawn Redd-Kelly, Head Volleyball Coach at Beloit College.

I used to call this a “stop and chat”, but apparently there’s an actual name for this management technique called Management By Walking Around, or MBWA.

What is it exactly?

• Stop and talk to players face to face.
• Get a sense how things are going.
• Listen to what is on player’s minds.

Why is it successful?

Years ago, I worked with a track coach who said it was his goal to talk to each athlete every day…even if only for a few moments.  Connecting with our athletes is a win-win.  We feel good about where our team’s mindset is and the players feel that we care.

If you do it correctly, you’ve been MBWAing all season, so the team won’t be startled when you stop and chat with them.  This strategy will pay dividends when and if something big happens within the team that you need to get to the bottom of.

How to MBWA with your team

• Make it part of the routine.  The team should know when they come into the gym that you’re probably going to be talking to them, it shouldn’t be weird or awkward…just part of being on the team.
• Just you, not the other coaches.  If your whole coaching staff approaches one of your players, I’d imagine they’d start racking their brains, trying to figure out why you were coming toward her with a posse!
• Chat with everyone.  Seems obvious, but be sure to talk to each person on the team.  Super stud and practice player alike.  That way you can’t be accused of being unfair.  Well, you can, but it won’t be true.
• Ask for suggestions.  This one is an easy one for a MBWA before a game, because you can always ask for suggestions for places to eat dinner.  It’s super important for them (for some reason) and the team’s gotta eat.
• Follow up with answers.  If you’re doing a MBWA and one of the athletes asked a question you don’t know the answer to, you’ve got to be sure to get back to him with the answer.
• Don’t criticize.  There’s plenty of time for that!  Keep it light…this is about relationship building!

If you want to read more about Management By Walking Around, check out this article.  Investing our precious time into our players will reap benefits down the line.

By John  O’Sullivan, Founder of Changing the Game Project

Do you want to win every game you play for the rest of your life?”

That was a question that Olympic gold medalist and current USA Women’s Volleyball team head coach Karch Kiraly asked his team as they prepared for the 2014 World Championships.

“Because we can,” he told them. They could schedule easy opponents, play overmatched foes, and play in friendly instead of hostile environments. But then what? Would they be challenged? Would they be pushed? Would they be bored? Of course. Deep down no one wants to win all the rest of their games. You must lose sometimes, and they did as they prepared in 2014..

Kiraly’s team went on to claim the World Championship, and is a favorite for gold in Rio this summer, because they continually challenge themselves. They lose sometimes, but they learn from losing. His question to his team is one our Changing the Game Project speakers ask parents all the time: “Do you want your kids to win all their games for the rest of their life?”

Of course the answer is no. We understand that winning is great, but losing and being challenged and pushed is where young athletes learn the most. We don’t want our kids to play all their games against overmatched teams, or in easy tournaments, because they would eventually get bored and quit. They want to be challenged. Here is the clincher, though.

They are OK with losing, and most kids understand it’s part of the process.

Sadly, many adults struggle with losing far more than their kids. Angry moms and dads berate their kids and officials from the sidelines, and on the ride home after games. Coaches yell and scream at athletes, or worse yet, don’t even let some kids play in matches because they fear losing. They use physical punishment (running, pushups, etc) when kids make technical errors, instead of teaching them. They scream for more effort from players who have given their all, but haven’t developed the technique and tactical ability to succeed.

When I suggest to these coaches that there is a better way, the response is predictable: “Life is tough, I’m not going to coddle these kids, I’m getting them ready for the real world.”

“Life is tough,” I respond, “and sports is a great way to teach kids to deal with challenging situations. But don’t you think it would be better for those kids to tackle those future difficult situations with a strong sense of self-confidence and belief, instead of thinking ‘last time we messed up we got screamed at’ or ‘I messed up and got benched?’’”

The response to my question is also predictable from most coaches that come from the “I have always done it this way, that’s how I was coached” camp: crickets, or at most a shrug and shake of the head.

As parents and coaches, we too often frame losing as something to always be feared and avoided at all costs. When we do this, we don’t prepare kids for future success; we prepare them for future anxiety (we also encourage cheating but that is a whole different article).

There is a better way. Losing can be something positive if framed correctly, especially for young kids.

Trust me, I understand how frustrating losing feels, as both a parent and a coach. I want my kids to be successful, and I certainly want my teams to play hard and get some results for their efforts. I am disheartened when I see the goals pouring in our goal, and my athletes struggling. I want to fix it. I want to make it better. I want to feel better after the game, and usually venting my frustration makes me feel better. But what about the kids? Does it make them better?

There is a better way. It works incredibly well when I am coaching a team, and it works great with my own kids to help after a tough loss.

I ask three simple questions after a tough loss and/or a disappointing performance:

What went well out there?

What needs work?

Why are we better because we lost today?

I learned these three questions from my great friend Dr. Jerry Lynch, author of the outstanding new book Let Them Play: The Mindful Way to Parent Kids for Fun and Success in Sports. Dr. Lynch has been part of over 30 national and world champion teams on the collegiate and professional level, so when he makes a recommendation on how to help a team or athlete, I tend to listen. Here is why these questions work.

What went well out there?

After a loss, many athletes are expecting to get dressed down. They usually feel lousy about a loss, just as parents and coaches do. But they didn’t do everything wrong. Some good things happened, and this question lets players know that we saw some good things. They scored some goals, made some good tackles, and had some great combination plays. Instead of only focusing on what went wrong, this question helps kids understand that they are doing a lot right. This helps them feel like they are continually improving, and that the process has space for both success and disappointment. Better yet, research shows that the most effective leaders and teams give nearly six positive comments for every negative one. It is never all bad, so be sure that your kids never forget that by first asking “what went well?”

What needs work?

Obviously, we lost, so not everything went well. But this is sports, there is always something that needs work, right? We often underemphasize “what needs work” when we win, and overemphasize it when we lose, so asking this in both cases provides balance. We have acknowledged the good, now let’s acknowledge the things we have to put in some extra work on. Did we defend well as a team? How is our fitness? Are we working hard for each other offensively? As a parent, you can ask your son or daughter what things they can focus on in training that week, or better yet, what can they accomplish outside of practice to improve their play. Athletes must be prepared to receive critical feedback from their coaches regardless of the result, and asking them to identify what needs to be worked on is far more effective than simply lecturing them.

Why are we a better team/athlete because we lost today?

This question is the clincher. Development is a process. It is a marathon, not a sprint. There are going to be ups and downs, and the critical thing is we continually learn and improve. The outcome of the competition cannot be changed, but we can influence the outcome of our next event, and our preparation for it. This question helps athletes frame the loss, and take ownership of the training and preparation for the next match. For example, your team might say “We are better because we learned that when we don’t defend as a team, we get scored on a lot. We need to focus on team defending if we are going to be successful next match.” Your athlete might say “I am better because I learned that against a good team, I have to play a lot quicker, so I will be focused on that in practice this week.” This question opens the door to a path forward, helps them move on from the loss, and gives them ownership over their preparation for the upcoming contest.

Three simple, magical questions that turn losing moments into learning moments:

What went well?

What needs work?

Why are we a better team because we lost today?

When a coach asks his or her team these three questions, losing is no longer a scary moment; it becomes a teachable moment. You build a stronger connection with your athletes, you put the loss in the past, and you get your athletes refocused on the process of getting better. Most importantly, you demonstrate that you are in this together. Your athletes will love you for it.

Parents, when you ask your kids these three questions, you remind them that it’s the process, not just the outcome, that matters. You help them take ownership of their improvement, and focus on both their strengths and weaknesses. You also let them know that you are in it with them, whether its good, its bad, or it’s ugly.  It lets them know that you don’t simply love watching them win, but that you love watching them play!

Next time your team is loses, take a deep breath, and ask the three magic questions. You will be glad you did.

And so will your kids.

Changing the Game Project  is a site that is your one stop shopping for  the latest and greatest information, research, and best practices regarding high performance, motivation, Long Term Athletic Development, fitness, nutrition, college recruiting, and more.

 

Written and Submitted by Adam Bradley
Founder & President, Lead ‘Em Up

Coaches want to win and in many cases, coaches ‘need’ to win.

The pressure, desires and urgency are all there and because of that, coaches make decisions that’ll impact today. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. We need to win now.

Unfortunately with leadership training, the process is cumulative. You see growth over time, little by little and the “time” will vary from player to player.

Coaches pour into their players despite the possibilities of never seeing and personally experiencing the fruit of their labor. Sometimes the light doesn’t go off for the player until a year after they’ve left their program. Perhaps longer. That’s not always the case but in many cases it is.

If you implement a full-court press, you’ll be able to see some form of resemblance to the press by the end of practice. On the flipside if you’re coaching your player to lead and live a certain way, that message may take longer to be received. But should we not still teach it?

The ultimate win is not on the scoreboard; it’s in the lives you impact. It’s in creating tomorrow’s leaders. Our job as coaches is to help produce champions on and off the court. It’s not always easy to do because of the pressure to win on the scoreboard, but it’s well worth the time and effort.

Here are 3-tips to help allow you achieve the ultimate win:

1 – Recognize small things as big things

We often overlook many of our successes in leadership development because they don’t present themselves in large ways. We find ourselves looking for that Hollywood scene where the team is in trouble and our quiet, reserved player breaks out of their shell, rally’s the team and becomes the heroic leader that saves the day. When we fail to see that, we think we’re not making progress. That’s not how it works.

Your player’s growth in leadership occurs in small ways. Remember, it’s cumulative, it’ll start small and it’ll be a series of small things that when put together show a major change and establish momentum.

For example, this past Spring I spent the season as the leadership coach on a local Varsity baseball team. One exercise we do in Lead ‘Em Up is an exercise called “Head Down, Look Up – Race to Erase.” It’s an exercise designed for our players to help each other’s confidence and better rebound from their mistakes.

The situation was this: it was the bottom of the 5th inning and we were up 8. In Maryland high school baseball if you’re up 8 after 5 you win. We put our star pitcher in to close it down. Unfortunately we allowed 3 unearned runs that inning after the centerfielder misplayed a fly ball. At the end of the inning, the pitcher started making his way to the dugout when right before he got to the first base line, he stopped and turnaround to greet the centerfielder and give him a fist pump and tap on the helmet simply telling him “it’s all good, we’ve got this, lets keep going.” The pitcher exemplified exactly what we had discussed a few days priors about “racing to erase” any frustrations, negative emotions in our teammates when they make a mistake.

I can promise you, NO ONE in the entire park that day saw what I saw, despite the magnitude of the situation. Here was a player who had many challenges throughout the year, take a moment to turn their focus off of them, recall something he was taught and serve his teammate in a major way. He showed control over the moment, not allowing the moment to have control over him. He didn’t possess this ability early in the season.

This behavior was praised and repeated by the pitcher in future games. This behavior was also repeated by the teammate who received the embrace from his pitcher.

This small thing… was actually a BIG thing. When you’re coaching your players in more than just the X’s and O’s, you’re winning; you just have to look harder for the wins.

2 – Hold onto the sentiments from alumni

Most youth and high school players have a difficult time communicating their feelings which means they don’t communicate their appreciation for what you’re doing, enough. I see time and time again alumni come back to the program a few years removed with a much greater sense of maturity and communicate their appreciation.

Your players come back and remarkably remember small details of things you said or did in practice and games. They begin to show their gratitude for what you did for them and the impact and experience you provided. Every coach I know loves receiving this feedback and almost always comments that they “wish they knew the player cared this much back then.”

Don’t glance over this. This is important. Your players felt what you were doing, at the time you were doing it, despite not having the maturity to communicate it. You pouring into them is filling them up. In a young players world, there are a small number of individuals who have the ability to influence over them, you’re one of them. Don’t take that responsibility lightly.

3 – Remember your journey

I am so thankful so many coaches in my life were willing to make that sacrifice and intentionally try to develop me in more ways than just the game. Think back to your journey; did coaches pour into you and did it take some time before you truly “got it?” I’d imagine so.

I wish I could’ve been the person I am today back then so they wouldn’t have felt like they were spinning their wheels to get me going. I’m just thankful they kept spinning.

Coaches – teaching the game and X’s & O’s is critical and essential to your success. You teaching them life, leadership & character is essential to their success. Let’s be thankful we “get” the opportunity to be one of the influencers in our players’ lives.

Have fun and Lead ‘Em Up!

You can find out more about the program and Sign-up to receive a free preview of a weekly session you can use with your team today at this link:
Lead ‘Em Up

By John O’Sullivan, founder of  Changing the Game Project

This article is written to athletes. It is something you can share with them to help motivate them to set their goals high.

The extra mile is a lonely place, but it is the only path to greatness.

There are no fans lining that mile. No cameras. No bright lights.

Most of your teammates won’t join you there, because your dreams belong to you, not them.

Many of your “friends” will tell you that you are wasting your time, because how could they know how badly you want it? They have no idea.

Your coaches and parents may inspire you, but they can’t do the reps. Only you can.

It’s easy to say “I want to be a college athlete” or “I want to be a pro,” because the dream is free. But the hustle? That will cost you. What are you willing to pay? How long are you willing to struggle? Are you willing to experience the pain, the disappointment, and go toe-to-toe with failure? That is what it will take to achieve your dream.

When Steph Curry had to change his shot technique in high school, do you think his friends cared how late he stayed up practicing? How many of his friends were willing to show up an hour early to practice, or stay after, waiting for him to swish five straight free throws before calling it a day? When does your practice begin? When are you satisfied enough to call it quits for the day?

When 2x world and olympic decathlon champion Ashton Eaton takes to the track, he isn’t the favorite because he was born an elite track star (just look at his first pole vault). He made a decision. He decided to become a decathlete and he refuses to let anyone work harder than him. Are you outworking everyone you compete against?

Michael Phelps could have stopped at 19 gold medals, but he wanted more, and he wanted them bad enough to be at the pool day after day at 4am. “I can’t remember the last day I didn’t train,” he said. Can you?

No one would have blamed Heather Dorniden for quitting when she fell flat on her face with one lap to go in the Big 10 600 meter Championship, but she got back up and finished. She hadn’t run so many extra miles simply to give up. Have you?

Greatness require sacrifice.

You must embrace the struggle.

You must embrace it when it makes you smile.

You must embrace it when it makes you cry.

You must embrace it when it tears your heart out, and makes you question everything.

You must embrace it because you are on that lonely journey to the top.

The struggle is a privilege.

You have the privilege of working your tail off when everyone else has called it a day.

You are in the arena. You are spending yourself on a worthy cause.

At best, you may become a champion.

At worst, said Teddy Roosevelt, “at least you will fail while daring greatly, so your place will never be among those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

If you want to be great at anything in life, then you have to be willing to go the extra mile again and again. The extra mile is a lonely place, but once you go there, you will soon realize it’s the only place you were meant to be.

And when it’s all over, your only regret, if you have one, will be that you didn’t go there more often.

Enjoy the privilege.

Coach O’Sullivan is offering a free video series</strong> that is part of his Coaching Mastery Program. Click on the image for more information about this free offer from  Changing the Game Project

 

This article was provided by Busy.Coach

By Mandy Green, University of South Dakota.

The Pareto principle states that 20% of a person’s effort generates 80% of the person’s results. The corollary to this is that 20% of one’s results absorb 80% of one’s resources or efforts. For the effective use of resources, the coach’s challenge is to distinguish the right 20% from the trivial many.

Identify the high-payoff activities within your program.  High-payoff activities are the things you do that bring the greatest value to your program, team, or staff.  They are the three to five activities that lie in your “sweet spot.”  You do them with excellence.  These activities could be building relationships with recruits, making phone calls to parents, sending emails to recruits, managing your current team, etc.  They are your unique discipline or distinctive skills and abilities that distinguish you from other staff members.

Being able to prioritize your personnel, time, and energy will allow you the freedom to produce more efficient results.

Here are a few exercises taken from John Maxwell’s book Developing the Leader within You that should get you started:

Task Priorities

Determine what 20% of the work gives 80% of the return. These activities could be building relationships with recruits, making phone calls to parents, sending emails to recruits, managing your current team, etc.  They are your unique discipline or distinctive skills and abilities that distinguish you from other staff members.

Make a list of the tasks that you are working on today, this week, and in the near future.

Place each task next to the appropriate category below.

• List of things to do now (High Importance/High Urgency). Tackle these tasks first;
• List of things to do (High Importance/Low Urgency). Set deadlines for completion and get these tasks worked into your daily routine
• List of things to delegate (Low Importance/High Urgency). Find quick, efficient ways to get this work done without much personal involvement. Delegate it.
• Low Importance/Low Urgency: Busy or repetitious work. Delegate it.

Staff/Team Oversight and Leadership Development

• Determine which people are the top 20% producers. Start by making a list of everyone on your team.
• For each individual, ask yourself, if this person takes a negative action against me or withdraws his or her support from me, how big will the impact be?”
• If their absence would hinder your ability to function, put a check mark next to that name.
• When you finish making the check marks, you will have marked between 15 and 20 percent of the names. These are the vital relationships that need to be developed and given the proper amount of resources to grow your program.
• Meet one-on-one with the people you checked above.
• Spend 80 percent of your “people time” with the top 20%
• Spend 80 percent of your personal development dollars on the 20%

Sit down and spend the time to find out how this principle applies within almost every aspect of your program, and you have the power to set the vital priorities which will mean the difference between failure, survival, and success. This principle will save you time, effort, money and resources, and take you further down the road to success.

Knowing what your high-payoff activities are and actually doing them, however, are two very different things.  Many surveys that I have read over the past several years have shown that the average American worker spends only 50-60 percent of the workday on activities specified in her or her job description.  That means that workers waste 40-50 percent of their time on low-payoff activities, tackling things that others with less skill or training should be doing.  Are you in this category coach?

By disciplining yourself to clearly identify your high-payoff activities, and then by filling your calendar with those things and appropriately delegating, delaying, or dropping the low-payoff activities, you can and will get more productive things done everyday, reduce your stress, and increase your happiness.

The more time you spend doing the high-payoff activities, the more value you will bring to your team, program, and staff.  By disciplining yourself to clearly identify your high-payoff activities, and then by filling your calendar with those things and appropriately delegating, delaying, or dropping the low-payoff activities, you can and will get more high-payoff activities done everyday, reduce your stress, and increase your happiness.